What Not to Say

The following stories are examples in what not to say to your loved ones when a family member is on the way to the hospital...

Joseph and I did a bad thing this morning - we skipped Sunday School and church. We have no good excuse, other than staying up late last night watching the worst movie ever made (Snakes on a Plane - 2 hours of my life I can never get back) and a child that is usually our 7 a.m. alarm clock but actually slept until 8:00. Anyway, I get a call on my phone around 11:00 from Clayton. I figured he was calling to give me a hard time about being a skipper. I answered and he said, "Shealy passed out in church this morning and we're in the ambulance. I can't get ahold of your mom, so get in touch with her." Click. WHAT??? Of course, I'm already sobbing hysterically imagining the worst case scenario (she's got some rare untreatable disease) and the best case scenario (yay! she's pregnant! another niece or nephew!) But the bottom line was, I knew next to nothing from that cryptic phone call! Buddy, give me more information! That's my sister you're talking about! Turns out, she's neither diseased nor pregnant, she just has a really bad "gastrointestinal" virus on top of chest congestion, which caused her to get dehydrated and pass out. At church. The place I didn't go because I wanted to find out if Samuel L. Jackson made it off the plane full of snakes. Talk about feeling slightly convicted. God, I totally got the message. If my sister can make it church in her condition, I can go a little sleepy.

Next example, same situation...my mom called my dad to let him know Shealy was on the way to the hospital in the ambulance. She was trying to be reassuring and told him their friend, Bill Harris, was with her in the ambulance. Mr. Bill works occasionally as an EMT, but my dad only knew about his other job. As the COUNTY CORONER. Yes, my mom told my dad the coroner was with Shealy in the ambulance. As you can imagine, he totally flipped out! I don't know how my mom calmed him down, but the moral to both of these stories is, even in high-stress, panicky situations, THINK before you talk! Especially to highly emotional sisters and quick to jump to the worst conclusion fathers!

Shealy, the poor thing, is at home sleeping off the nausea medicine. I think she's more embarrassed than anything else, but Clayton said that everyone just kept right on singing as they carried her out! I told her she probably has more people praying for her now than she ever has before!