Sunday, July 27, 2008

I need some motherly wisdom...


All 3 of my boys are napping, so I've spent my free time lost in blog world! It's been so nice to have a few minutes to do something without a purpose!

We are hanging in there! Luke weighed 5-12 on Wednesday, so he's gaining about an ounce a day. We go back tomorrow for another weight check, and then hopefully we can cut out the bottle completely. Pumping and then giving Luke a bottle takes too much time! Especially when it's just me at home with both of them. But we'll do what we have to do!

I need some advice from all you toddler moms out there...we are having major issues with Ford and obedience. And this started WAY before Luke arrived! Ford has a quite a temper when things don't go his way, and he can be outright defiant at times. I know he's only 21 (almost) months, so I'm having a hard time on knowing where to draw the line between him just acting his age or needing serious discipline. We do spank (personal decision - don't really want to start a discussion up about that:) but it doesn't really seem to phase him. I've tried time out, but I think he's still a little too young to understand. The reason this is such a concern to me is I feel like your temper is such a heart thing, and we need to get this under control NOW. My family has a history of bad tempers, and I do NOT want Ford following in these footsteps. This is something Joseph and I have prayed constantly about since Ford first started showing signs of this. Any words of wisdom? Any Christian-based book recommendations? I'm not expecting him to act like a perfect angel all the time, but I also do not want to have a defiant son. Please help a mama out!

15 comments:

Footprints Ministry said...

I wish I had an answer for you Sarah! My son John Paker is 22 months and sounds exactly like Ford. So there's a little hope he's not the only one going through this. We spank as well but doesn't really phase John Parker a whole lot. The only other thing we've tried is grabbing his arm not hard just firmly getting on his level and looking in his eyes and saying "do not....." John Parker likes to throw things. I got hit with a dog bowl this morning and he hit me with his hand all before church. And that was only this morning. So I hope this is encouraging to know you're not the only one. I need the advice too! ha! My peditrician recommends SHEPHERDING A CHILD’S HEART by Tedd Tripp. No I haven't read it or bought it. I probably should, it sounds good. It is a Christian based book. Hope this helps. Hang in there! I love Proverbs 31 here's one of my favorite parts
"Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,but you surpass them all!" Proverbs 31:28-29

You're a being a great Mommy!
Kim Wilson

DeLine Family said...

Sarah, I do feel your pain. Hudson can throw some temper tantrums; esp. when he gets frustrated. Honestly but not happily, I am glad to hear I am not alone in this part of motherhood. We had a hard time spanking b/c Hudson will hit (& bite) so it was hard for us to hit but tell him he couldn't...SO...we actually do Time Out & it works. I scoop him up quickly and forcefully and plop him in the corner & say "Time Out!" I wait 1 minute (1 minute for the kiddo's age) & come back to say "No ______. Do you understand? I love you!" It seems to working, and we've been doing it for 3-4 weeks now. He's definitely not happy when it happens and is much better behaved afterwards. Although, I may have to check out the mentioned book too!
Good luck mommy! I'll be praying for little Luke and Ford as well as some really great parents who they are so very lucky to have.

Julia and Gracie said...

James Dobson wrote a book about 25-30 years ago called "Raising the Strong Willed Child" It is old school, but lots of folks swear by it. I don't know if it is even at bookstores anymore, but I'm sure you could find it online. My mom read this book several times, and has recommended it to others
Ryan

arin said...

hey sarah! jennie's friend arin in nc! we love keeping up with your blog...blog stalking is the best brainless activity..doesn't make you think of the mounds of laundry or dishes or baby toys strewn about . or that you could be napping.....we are 3 weeks away from welcoming our 3rd addition. . needless to say with a almost 3 1/2 yr old and 14 mo old...we have many moments like this. you are being an amazing mommy...be it spankings or time outs . . whatever the choice for the moment.....consistency is A MUST. he will eventually get that there are certain attitude no-nos that result in consequences he doesn't like... i'm realizing as a mommy as much as i want her to get it...its a daily battle and lots of the same lessons over and over and over....i have read sections of shepherding a child's heart. liked it. xxooooo much love and moments of rest & mommy patience!!!

The Muncies said...

I want all of us to get together to do one of these parenting books together! Either shepherding a child's heart or one of the dobson books! I am so nervous about these stages!

The Rouse Family said...

Hey Sarah--I have started Shepherding a Child's Heart and love it so far. Cooper is so sensitive that just looking at him does the trick but Claire...the opposite! She use to laugh at me when she got a little spanking. SOme friends told me it is TIME to use the "spanking"spoon. I have done it one time and it broke her heart and now all I have to say is do you want me to get the spanking spoon and then she listens, but on occasion, she reverts back to old ways. I am like Holly, we need to all talk about this stuff together.

David, Rachel, Drews and Kate said...

sweet Sarah...your boys are precious! I am so glad things are going well and that you guys are transitioning into being a family of four!! I wish I had some good advice for you in terms of discipline. My little man is doing very much the same thing and I cant quite figure out how to handle it myself. A book I just starting reading (although it isnt really toddler specific) is Bringing up Boys by James Dobson. I've only just started reading it, but so far so good! You may already have it, but if not...it came highly recommended to me and it would prob be great for you as well with 2 little men in your nest! :) So glad youre doing well. REally would love to hear from you if you have the chance. Miss you sweet friend!

Maggie M. Cooper said...

hey sarah-we now use the "spanking spoon" because mary evans thought, as it makes sense, that if i hit she can too. however-she doesn't have a spanking spoon:) i used it one time and now i only have to hold it up and she gets with the program (i almost cried more than her:)). however, i have used it a couple more times. now, all that to say that i only use the spoon if speaking to her doesn't work...like the other moms said-just be consistent and he will come around-you know from teaching consistency is the key:) and...it's important to understand if he's just frustrated about something or if he's being outright defiant...at this age there's so much frustration for them since they can't express or do everything they want to, so i only "punish" mary evans if it's outright defiance. hope this helps:) you're doing great!!! hope to see yall soon!

Kristen said...

Hey Sarah! This is Kristen (Graves) Hill. We have a 20 month old daughter and have been struggling with the same kinds of things. We spank as well and do time out (this actually works for Caroline pretty well- she HATES it!). Chris and I have been reading two books, both by the same author, John Rosemond. One is called "Making the Terrible Twos Terrific" and it is awesome. Lots of practical wisdom. The other one is "Parenting by the Book" and it's great too. It gives a lot of great insight. Hope this helps! Hang in there!

The Northcutt's said...

Hey Sarah! My mother-in-law has done the "Bringing up Boys" DVD series by James Dobson. She loved it. The good thing about that one is that you could borrow it from the church and you and Joseph could watch it together. There is also a book by James Dobson called "The New Dare to Discipline". I had to read that for my Masters program. Its great!

The Haralson Family said...

Our 18 month old, Parker, is definitely having her defiant moments. My all time favorite Christian discipline book is "DON'T MAKE ME COUNT TO THREE" by Ginger Plowman. She uses very specific examples and wonderful scripture to help reach the child's heart rather than just fixing a behavior. Hope it helps... I know some days can be downright exhausting!

The Haralson Family said...

Our 18 month old, Parker, is definitely having her defiant moments. My all time favorite Christian discipline book is "DON'T MAKE ME COUNT TO THREE" by Ginger Plowman. She uses very specific examples and wonderful scripture to help reach the child's heart rather than just fixing a behavior. Hope it helps... I know some days can be downright exhausting!

Ben, Katie, and Campbell said...

hey sarah! i found your blog through someone else's - and am so glad i did! so glad to hear y'all are doing well - and the boys are TOO CUTE! ben and i have a 18 month little girl, and i am going through the same thing with her. i have read "shepharding a childs heart", and am reading "don't make me count to three" - both of which i think are the best. they get to the real issue - not outward behavior, but like you said - the heart. (the real problem - sin! :))
ginger plowman also has this "put off put on" chart with scripture to teach them, so you aren't just telling them what the word says not to do, but what it says TO do. its really good. (although it might take a while for them to really get - good to start now!) at least we're all in the trenches together! :)
blessings,
katie boyd compton

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